MOTHERHOOD: The Art of Being

My hubby recently proclaimed as I bent down hanging little damp clothes on the drying rack. “No other job in the world puts you in your beingness like motherhood”. This really resonated with me and I would have to agree there is no other job like it, for putting you in the here and now.

Motherhood has a powerful way of bringing us into our authentic selves and surrendering anything that is not in alignment with this. When we are ungrounded or distracted as parents, our children have the habit of pulling us back into line in one way or another. Whether that be having a melt down in the supermarket, hitting their sibling with a stick or drawing on the walls.

Some may find a state of beingness after many years meditating in a cave. Though as parents who can’t afford the luxury of this time, our little one’s are our guru’s. Bringing us back on the path of the here and now like nothing else! There can be a huge sense of fulfilment in surrendering to the very grounded and humble life of parenting. The true ‘spiritual challenge’ is staying in our centre whilst trying to juggle breastfeeding a newborn and cooking dinner while our toddler has a melt down on the kitchen floor. The amount of times I have burnt the rice because I am swept into negotiating pre dinner melt downs! Motherhood relentlessly pulls us back to earth, it is in this grit and messiness that we can come back to our centre and beingness.

“Beingness is the act or state of being. Being is more than just existing. Being is who we are at the very core of life, the way we were created, established and called to live- who we were before being influenced by family history, economics, personality conflicts, consequences of choices made (good or bad), or pressures we have allowed others to place on us.” Kinetos Coaching

For me Beingness is existing in our pure form rather then acting form our mask or ego. Babies model this so well as they enter the world completely in the present moment and their innate essence.

So how do we remain Zen in the midst of toys flying across the room or after your toddler has just smeared the walls with you know what?

For me the gateway to chilling out, is my breath and body. When I access these two things I can let go of expectations and to do lists and be present to mine and my children’s needs. In this space I can forget about yesterday and tomorrow and be in the here and now, easier said then done right?

Sometimes the here and now can be bloody uncomfortable! because if we are present and in our bodies we may have to face what is really going on. Any emotions we may of unconsciously been dodging with netflix and icecream may bubble to the surface.

Sometimes i disconnection and dissacociation is a more comfortable place to be. However if we willingly choose to connect with ourselves and feel our feelings there can be a beautiful sense of being and peace on the other side.

When we come home to ourselves in the present moment we will be more in touch with our authentic feminine selves which will likely nourish ourselves but also all those around you, including our little one’s.

BEINGNESS IN PREGNANCY

Pregnancy naturally stretches us into our beingness by inviting us to slow down, In this slowing down we then prepare for the presence that is required from mothering.

As we transition from maiden to mother during pregnancy there is an opportunity to move from the ‘doing’ to the ‘being’. If we are used to doing a lot and possibly working in a masculine style career this may be a hard transition to move through as our identity shifts.

There may be things that support us to practice the art of being during pregnancy such as intimacy with our partners, meditation, art or dancing. In our stillness we will know what is right for us.

How can you bring more beingness into your pregnancy?

BEINGNESS IN BIRTH

Birth is the ultimate state of being!!   The alchemical composition of hormones in the body encourages us to be completly in the moment, surrendering to our innate powerful being. This natural state allows us to not only physically birth our baby but to then be able to meet them with pure presence.

Is we can prepare things in pregnancy such as a birth plan, creating a safe supportive and loving birth environment and postpartum. It means that you can drop into that intuitive primal state without having to worry about external things. We can dedicate our whole being to giving birth and let other support people do the logical thinking.

This state of empowerment and being that is activated in birth, can then be carried through the mothering journey.

“Childbirth is designed to be a certain way, a way that leads us to our inner strength, our awesome wellspring of feminine power and innate mothering wisdom. The ‘knowing’ this experience gives us is the place from which Mothering is meant to start.” Jane Hardwick Collins

BEINGNESS IN MOTHERHOOD

As I mentioned above on the juggle of motherhood, we will relentlessly be called to surrender our ego pursuits to get down and dirty with being present in motherhood.

There has been countless times when I have driven off in the car with my list to do and expectations to fulfil. I have let my ego have the reigns and denied my intuitive being, this usually ends up with a disgruntled unhappy kid and day that doesn’t flow.

My children constantly reflect to me when I am out of my beingness and highlight to me when I need to let go of expectation and drop into the here and now. When I do this the love, fulfilment and flow is restored. There is a relief in letting go of unnecessary expectations and just showing up as me.

“There is a presence, a silence, a stillness which is here by itself. There is no doer of it, no creator of this stillness. It is simply here in you, with you. It is the fragrance of your own self.” Mooji

What supports you to come into your beingness on your motherhood journey?