MAMA CHAT
WITH CREATIVE SPARK MATILDA BROWN
Matilda’s warm, hospitable, funny and vivacious energy is very contagious! Born into the film world she has made a great mark on the Australian film industry with her acting and film making. Since becoming a mum nearly a year ago to beautiful Zan, she has tapped into new sense of purpose in her role as mother, but also in how she wants to serve the world. Matilda and I have a chat about pregnancy, the transformation into motherhood, navigating relationships when sleep deprived and her latest creative pursuits.
What 3 words would you use to describe motherhood?
Enormous, Courageous, Love
Where is Home?
Home is on the northern beaches of Sydney.
I grew up here and then moved back with my partner, just before I got pregnant. It’s such a beautiful part of the world. Great community. Kind of like a small country town vibe until the summer rolls in and then it’s busy which is also great. I was reluctant at first because I hated the idea of living an hour away from my friends but the group of friends we have made here makes it all worth it. I hardly commute into the city now. And now in the midst of Corona there’s even less reason. Gone are the days of wanting to live a fast life in a big city. I’m a nature girl through and through. It’s also so great to be a few streets away from the beach so my step son can toddle off on his own to surf.
How was pregnancy for you?
The first three months were hell. Such bad morning sickness. The second trimester was amazing. Everyone is so excited for you when you’re pregnant. It really is as if you’re embarking on the most exciting adventure. Women who have been through it just look at you and smile. Everyone wants to give you advice. I loved my body so much with a growing bump. Loved the transformation into the mother form. I think about that time and have such goosebumps from it. I think it’s the unknowing too. The excitement of who this baby is going to be/look like. There are just no words for it. The last trimester was awful. The sleep. The twitching legs. The peeing all the time. I was so impatient which made it worse.
Would you do anything differently?
The only thing I would change is the Accupuncture I got towards the end. I feel like Zan wasn’t ready to come yet but the Accupuncture almost forced him out. I think it made my labour very intense from the get go. There were no gentle contractions. They hit the night I had a huge Accupuncture session, like full on, and 16 hours later Zan was born.
But as for the rest - so much is out of your control - so it’s very hard to say what id change. All in all I didn’t mind being pregnant but it’s the anticipation that I struggled with. When I want something I want it now. I’ve always been like that.
Did you have a go-to pregnancy snack?
Mash potatoes with butter and salt. Anything potato. And bread. I’ve never loved carbs so much. One day I was so depressed. I was in the midst of the bad morning sickness phase and Scott walked into the bathroom and I was sitting in the bathtub with the shower on crying. And he said “what’s wrong?” And I just said “I just want mashed potatoes”. I was so emotional. So exhausted. So sick. Mash potatoes saved me.
Do you feel like a different person since becoming a mama, What has changed?
Oh my god. Yes. Priorities change. You’re hot with a love that changes the world for you in a single second. Life is never the same after that. Everything you do comes second to that baby. I love how it’s made me care less about myself. I mean that in a good way. I don’t have time to look in the mirror most days. I don’t have time to wipe the vomit off my jumper. I have to keep going or nothing gets done. It’s amazing what you can get done in a 45 minute nap. But it’s also like, as long as he’s ok that’s all that matters. I thought I’d lost my ambition... and I did for about 7 months. But he’s nearly one now and I feel like it’s returned ten fold. At the moment I’m starting a new business. I’m studying counselling, I have a podcast and I’ve gotten really good at cleaning the house in under an hour. Some days I achieve absolutely nothing. Somedays I feel so empty inside. Other days I feel like I’m superwoman and so incredibly fulfilled my heart could burst. But that’s motherhood and being a human. This see-saw of emotions. It’s rather wonderful. Keeps life interesting I guess.
You have been prolific in the Australian film industry as an actor and film maker will you go back to this world?
Always in some capacity. But right now I’m so excited about my business, which brings elements of my film background into it. Its called WOLF leadership. It brings the film world (and actors) into the corporate / office environment to help employees thrive and businesses grow.
What is stirring in you at the moment?
I want to contribute to the world in a positive way. In so many ways I feel that being creative is a selfish endeavour - unless you’re using your profile or art to impact positively. But for me there’s always been more to give than just “look at me I can act” and I’m moving towards that now. I want to be of service. I want to make a good living. I want to push myself into the corners of life that scare and excite me and stretch out into the different parts of who Matilda is. And right now I’m enjoying Matilda the business woman.
Who or what inspires you?
Right now there is no greater inspiration than a time limit. When Zan has a nap it’s very inspirational because it’s simply time for myself. That’s when I can focus on me/work/getting shit done. I rarely use it as a time to relax.
A goal is always inspiring. I have a few goals that I’m working towards and it gives me focus and purpose. I’m not sure about this idea of naming people who I’m inspired by. In essence I’ve always found that the most inspiring people are the ones who hold you accountable to your goals. People who help you achieve what you want to achieve. They help you believe in yourself or help you take the first step. Right now that’s Zan because he pushes me to work harder and be better. My dad has always been that for me too. He’s a great coach.
What has supported you as a new mama and do you have any advice for new mum’s?
Communicate with your partner. Nothing prepares you for how tired you both will be. When you’re sleep deprived you will snap at each other regularly. Get really good at apologies and try to see your part in it. Scott and I have this thing where we force ourselves to hug until the anger or sadness melts away between us. Then we both say sorry and usually end up laughing. So often neither are to blame. We’re just very tired!!
Also - something I really love doing - if I’m annoyed about something ill sing it to Scott. He does it too. It makes it less of a big deal. For example : if I don’t wash up for like the 20th time... Scott will sing “ohhhh nooooo you didn’t wash up again....” and it always makes me laugh so I don’t get shitty or get defensive.
Anyway - sounds silly but it works for us!
Matilda’s creative babies:
Mother’s little helper Podcast
New Venture
